Dan and Kermit Talk

382

We lead full and fulfilling lives

Dan

New hobby: whenever introduced, act like the person you’re being introduced to may be a celebrity.

Example:

“Hey, I’m Matt Smith.”
“Woah! The Matt Smith?! It’s an honor, let me tell you, man. Will you sign my glasses?”

Kermit

New hobby: whenever introduced, act like the person you’re being introduced to is being introduced to a celebrity.

Example:

“Hey, I’m Matt Smith.”
“Uh, excuse me? Where’s my agent? How did he get in here?”

Dan

New hobby: whenever introduced, act like the person you’re being introduced to thinks he’s being introduced to a celebrity.

“Hey, I’m Matt Smith.”
“So, I should probably tell you, I’m not the Dan. I mean, I was in a play when I was 12, but you know.”

Kermit

New hobby: whenever introduced, act like the person you’re being introduced to is your archnemesis.

“Hey, I’m Matt Smith.”
“And so, Matt Smith, this fateful day has come at last. Your final destruction is nigh at hand and this time there is nothing you can do to stop me!”

Dan

New hobby: whenever introduced, act like the the person you’re being introduced to is the first sentient robot.

“Hey, I’m Matt Smith.”
“What’s it like not feeling pain?”

Kermit

New hobby: whenever introduced, act like the last name of the person you’re being introduced to is offensive.

“Hey, I’m Matt S—.”
“We don’t say words like that around here.”