Assault, Battery, and Roundhouse Kicks
Kermit
My phone believes a headset is plugged in when none are.
Dan
I guess you could try restarting the phone. (If nothing else, pop the battery out.)
Kermit
I thought of that, but this battery is impossible to take out. It’s totally Chuck Norris.
Dan
So, if you hooked it up to the power grid, it would blow all the circuits out?
Kermit
No, but it’d roundhouse kick them to smithereens.
Dan
If you dropped it in the ocean, it would evaporate the whole thing with electrolysis.
Kermit
Now I’m gonna be nervous about carrying my phone on ships.
Dan
If you disposed of it improperly, Al Gore would die.