Dan and Kermit Talk β

Whatever you had to say, I’m sure it was of value.

But my faith in that is not so strong that I’m going to have you repeat it.

I’m moving a pano.

Pano? Hmm. You must mean “panoply.” Probably a panoply of musical instruments. Hopefully it doesn’t include a piano. Those are hard to move.

By the way, I’m getting Modern Warfare 2, but for 360 instead of the PS3, so I won’t be playing with you.

I’m hurt.

You’re more high-maintenance than a curling stone.

You’re reading Pride & Prejudice?

I thought you liked P&P.

I’m not you.

But your example has empowered me to enjoy good prose and a compelling story regardless of what gender society dictates is to consume it.

I had no idea I was a revolutionary.

But I always suspected it.

(I’m going to revolutionize logic next.)

Inner monologue cannot degrade to the point where characters explicate their own thought processes ostensibly to themselves; this annoys me when I read it in books.

Funny that something I can imagine you doing would annoy you.

Well, you know, fiction can’t afford to be as strange as truth.

Given the human tendency to reject truth?

Or the human tendency to incarcerate the imagination.

Or the human tendency to generalize the propensities of entire species.

Or the human tendency to have human tendencies.

Here is our disjunction so far:

reject_truth ∨ imprison_imagination ∨ generalize_propensities ∨ (p = p)

Yes. I transformed our proposition into a tautology. You can thank me later.

My phone believes a headset is plugged in when none are.

I guess you could try restarting the phone. (If nothing else, pop the battery out.)

I thought of that, but this battery is impossible to take out. It’s totally Chuck Norris.

So, if you hooked it up to the power grid, it would blow all the circuits out?

No, but it’d roundhouse kick them to smithereens.

If you dropped it in the ocean, it would evaporate the whole thing with electrolysis.

Now I’m gonna be nervous about carrying my phone on ships.

If you disposed of it improperly, Al Gore would die.

I miss…Cygwin. (The Windows Linux emulator.)

I know what Cygwin is.

Linux, you see, is an open-source, community-developed OS (operating system).

What do you mean by “is”?

Quick un-daktlike note: today’s entry was culled from a conversation taking place during Kermit’s non-vegan “sane” phase.

Just so those of you who know me in real life aren’t confused by the inconsistency.

The sushi I had for lunch today was…not very good.

I don’t really know how you improve upon the taste of the raw salmon—I’m not sure how I would propose it be prepared differently. Raise the salmon in a more nurturing environment?

Don’t marry someone who’s only after you for your hairiness.

I do not condone hirsute pursuit.